Because I want you still,
I will be harsh and bitter,
and you’ll see me happy around other men
who will never really have my heart.
I’ll let you tail behind me like a dog
with an umbrella on hand,
and I’ll walk like I don’t know you,
like there were no snippets of good times
rewinding in the vault of my head.
I’ll let you act, for the last time, like love
never spirited away
and every wound is licked to healing,
until your body shakes from crying;
but I’ll just stare at you blankly.
I will keep some of my clothes in your closet,
a few of my personal things scattered in your room,
and the scribbles of my name on your white-washed walls
for each and every woman you’ll have inside your room
to see and discover like dead corpses;
and when they ask you about these things,
all you can do is make love to them quickly –
but never open your eyes while you do –
for all you’ll see is me.
Rigil Lumingkit studies Creative Writing in UP Mindanao.